Beth. The Demonic Monster

Now for a list of amusing anecdotes about the slime-monster.

The Skunk

This is the story of a fearless Beth and her trusty bucket. When Beth and her friends saw a skunk, they decided that they wanted to catch the poor creature. Now as most people know skunks have a relatively good self defense system. Beth forgot about this for a moment or two. So since she was "Good with animals" she took a bucket and advanced on the skunk.

The skunk decided Beth was hostile (quite a logical decision) and let loose with his pungent spray. Beth informs me that the skunk did not actually spray her, but rather she "walked into it's spray." At this point she stunk like a ripe cheese, and had to be hosed down and washed off with tomato juice before we would let her anywhwere near the house. Needless to say Dad and I were quite amused.

Now Beth wishes to defend herself: "Firstly, it smelled like Ben's feet, not ripe cheese. Secondly, I arrived on the scene AFTER many people had tried to catch the thing. Ben's stories grow a little, shall we say, DULL!!, after the first one, so please, stop reading NOW!, I repeat, any stories from now on have been taken from my memory banks under duress! If you have already decided to read more I apologise ahead of time because of my brother's rather large imagination. By the way, I would like you to remember who cooks for all Ben's roommates and who, if she had the time, would make them real meals instead of boring shortbread and other mouthwatering treats."

"Buppie Perfumed"

When we travelled to India Beth decided that the proper time to be airsick was when the plane was safely landed and completely stationary. So she promptly vomited all over her stuffed animal named Bubby. It was so named beacuse it is a blue thing that looks like a cross between a bunny and a puppy. So Beth dubbed it Bubby. Well anyway, now the poor creature was dry-cleaned at the hotel and when it was returned it stunk of some god-awful chemical that could clear a blocked nose in a second. Beth grabs Bubby and says "Buppie perfumed" in her little high pitched voice (she was still young, and a little cute back then Beth says she was very cute back then. But she is biased). Most people upon smelling the thing would have gone and locked themselves in a different room. Mum removed it from her when she had fallen asleep because the smell was so strong.

Barbie Dolls

Beth thought that when she got older her feet would change to the shape of Barbie's feet, so she could wear high heels. Althogugh Beth now informs me she much preferred climbing trees than playing with silly dolls.

Carrots

Since Beth was told that eating carrots would let you see in the dark, and she liked reading books late at night with the light off, she ate carrots for years even though she didn't really like them.

The book story

When we were getting into the car after eating out, Beth left her book and can of iced tea on the roof of the car, then forgot about them. We drove about a mile off when Beth announced "I think I left my book on the roof". We duly stopped and inspected the roof and Beth locked her hair in the car door getting back in. Rather than reopening the door she just ripped most of the hair that was stuck in the door out of her head, then she announced "Gosh that hurt", as if there was no other way to free it. Dad and I promptly boke into hysterics, as we drove back to the restaurant. We found the book, but the iced tea had broken and was running all over the place.

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